Matty-boy and the Secret Pigeon Racket.

First of all – my story.

I was bullied throughout my childhood and teenage years. My Self-esteem was at an all time low. The bullying took place in my first, junior and senior schools. The loneliness that I experienced, the questions I had about myself and how I viewed my life began to take over, believing that it was my fault, particularly when it still happened as I changed Schools, even when I moved to a new town!

As I look back at the emotional and physical scars I carried, I can finally see that it wasn’t my fault. I wish that I had been able to find the words to tell someone when it first began. If only I had had the help and direction I needed to rise above the situation and look at it with different eyes, instead of punishing myself for the bullies reaction.

You automatically believe that there must be something wrong with you, that you don’t fit in – that you deserve this treatment. These thoughts make the situation even worse, as you are not only dealing with the bullying, but also with what you think of yourself too!

Thoughts whirl in your head -

‘I can’t tell anyone, because no one will believe me’
‘If I tell someone – won’t it make it worse?’
‘If I tell someone won’t they think I am weak?’
‘I can’t tell anyone because there is something wrong with me – I deserve it’
‘How can I get myself away from this nightmare?’

There is a lot to say about body language, if only we had the benefit of hindsight. I know for a fact that as the bullying got worse, so did my body language. My posture went from looking up at the sky to finding the ground easier to look at. I rarely looked at anyone in the eye. As I looked deeper inwardly, so did my body. In an attempt to survive, it is natural to try and protect yourself I found the comfort of my duvet an appealing place to stay, ending up becoming a school phobic.

If only I had told someone that I trusted…When I eventually did tell someone, I received the support that I needed to heal and move on.

If you are being bullied – please tell someone you trust.
If you tell someone you trust then you don’t need to deal with it alone anymore. The situation can change. No one will think you are weak for telling them, you don’t need to suffer in silence. Many many people have been in a similar situation.

This is one of the reasons why I wrote – Matty-boy and the Secret Pigeon Racket.

It’s a story of friendship, bullying, family and loss.

The underlying theme is to encourage those who are being bullied – to tell someone they trust.